Having Hard Conversations Is Like Describing a Kaleidoscope

I’ve had a lot of hard conversations so far in 2021. I dove into this willingly. Bombarded with one-sided social posts and opinions, I wanted to engage. I wanted to listen. If 2020 was the year I retreated and turned inward, then this new year would be one of emergence — of a pursuit of understanding beyond my own words.

First the cocoon, then the metamorphosis.

It turns out, hearing the words of others is really, really hard. Amidst my own spiritual growth came a deep reckoning that my vision is not the only one. I’m also not right all the time. How we each perceive the world is baked with layers of bias and rhetoric. I don’t say this in a judgmental way (something I have to reiterate whenever I wade into these discussions), but more as a statement of observation. Most of my spiritual (and societal) identity has been something I’ve learned. Knowledge has been passed down to me. Answers were given to my questions instead of me feeling encouraged to plumb my own experiences. We can so deeply rely on our answers that we forget to ever change out the lens. We’re afraid to fall; our answers may not catch us. So, instead, we build ideologies around the dismantling of others’ questions.

I don’t think I see the world in a perfect way. I know I don’t. But what I’m finding increasingly difficult to describe to people is that there are different ways of seeing at all. There are different ways of seeing! There’s a layer beyond your layer. And above my layer too.

We don’t have to understand the mechanics of a kaleidoscope to use one. We can look through it freely, watching how the light dances and reflects. Each distinct color, at once, captures the light fully without hoarding it absolutely. Does the yellow beam notice the blue? More importantly, is the green more true than the red? There’s a picture inside of the kaleidoscope, changing as we move. That’s the one I’m curious to see.